Get Up, Get Out, And Get Some
Q. I am a 29-year-old gay man. I came out a year ago but am not having as much luck as I hoped I would in the gay world. Some friends have suggested that my appearance and lifestyle may be to blame. Having been “straight” for so long, the majority of my social crew consists of alpha males and party girls. I dress in a pretty masculine manor and am not the least bit effeminate. Are these things causing the problems in my romantic life?
A. A sloppy, schlumpy appearance isn’t going to win you any friends, so if you can fit a family of four in your soiled sweater and the hem of your Jnco jeans is frayed beyond recognition, then yes, it might be time for a “fagmalion” makeover.
But having said that, maintaining your (aesthetically upgraded) masculine demeanor isn’t necessarily the biggest hindrance to your love life. Keep at this gay thing and you’ll find that some guys find the hyper-masculine deportment (variations of which include homo thugs and banjee realness) attractive.
What’s keeping you from making advancements in the romance department is exclusively hanging out with breeders at straight bars. The chances of you meeting someone there are slim, and it won’t facilitate the kind of favorable encounters and improvement in self confidence that you’re after.
Hit up a gay bar or 12 with a friend (be they homo or hetero), visit some online dating sites, or try out for the gay volleyball team. Take the initiative and approach a stranger. Not everyone will want to be your friend or go on a date with you, but rejection will lead to thicker skin and a more resilient attitude. If you’d prefer a more neutral setting to start this endeavor, might I suggest hitting up your local cineplex lobby the weekend of May 27? It’s a guaranteed gay mecca.
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