Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Q. I am in a long term relationship that has been filled with a lot of fighting over the last six months. I recently met someone new and for the first time in my life I cheated. The real problem is not the actual cheating (it’s not much more than kissing), but that I have developed strong feelings for the guy on the side. Very strong. He feels the same way and wants to be in a relationship with me. I still love my boyfriend, but don’t want to lose this new guy for an ongoing relationship that may not work out. I also don’t want to give up on my long term relationship for something that’s so new and have regrets later on. Thoughts?
A. There’s an old quote that says “the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.” You must’ve been busy cheating on your boyfriend when they covered that one in class.
Stop fretting and make up your mind already. Personally, I think the decision is clear. Snogging some other guy is a strong indication that you’re not satisfied with your LTR. Fear of the unknown is not a good enough reason to perpetuate a stale and problematic situation. Keep that up and in a few years you’ll find yourself in a resentment-filled marriage akin to Revolutionary Road. Spoiler alert: that movie does not have a happy ending.
This new guy is providing an easy and preferable out. Take it. Yes, it’s a leap of faith, but that should be pretty easy as you’ve already got one foot out the door.
When it’s time to end things with your current boyfriend (that time is now, btw) you’ll probably want to ease him into it. Perhaps you should hand over a gift-wrapped mixtape of breakup songs (“Actionman” needs to be on it), and/or copies of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Revolutionary Road. You can slip out the back before he’s removed the bow. It’s the perfect exit for someone with such a gutless approach to relationships, yes?
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