The Bipartisan Approach
Q. I’m a committed liberal and twentysomething gay guy. As you can imagine, I’m not a huge fan of militant conservatives, though I’m friendly with a handful or more moderate Republicans.
My good friend has just started dating a hardcore right-wing girl, who lists her Facebook interests as “Glenn Beck” and “Fox News.” We’re all spending this weekend together in New England at another friend’s house, and she and I (and a couple of others) are going to be riding up in the same car.
How do I approach this whole situation? I don’t want to feel like I’m being judged. It’s one thing if it’s in a workplace situation and you bite the bullet and deal with it, but I don’t want someone telling me “God loves you despite your sins” or just being generally dogmatic and antagonizing, or worse polite and smiley while silently judging. What do I do?
A. Try to stick to the adage that says politics and religion should not be discussed in polite company. There are a ton of other topics you can discuss, and as a 20-something, you should be well versed in having completely superficial conversations that are as deep as a paper plate. Pop culture, soft news, trends — all the things that make the 4th hour of the Today Show such riveting TV — these are the sorts of trivial matters that you and Nina the Neocon can discuss at length.
Being the new person in the group, it’s unlikely that she’ll feel comfortable enough to lead the conversation into dangerous territory, but should she venture into a dogmatic or antagonizing area, tell her that, in the words of her hero, you’d rather not argue with an idiot.
As for your other fear, personally, my favorite pastime is “being polite and smiley while silently judging,” so I can’t begrudge Connie Conservative for doing the same. However, you’re sort of falling into the “silently judging” camp yourself in presupposing that Nina/Connie/homegirl gives a crap about your proclivities and politics. Remember, you can’t live your life based on what other people think, just what they say.
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