Losing the Keys to the Kingdom
Q. I just started a new job and I lost the keys to the office! I threw them in my bag when I left one night last week, and now they are gone… totally vanished! I’m scared to tell my boss since I just started, and she will obvi think I’m irresponsible. Help!
A. Well she’ll think you’re irresponsible because you are irresponsible.* But fret not, there are ways to remedy the situation. Start off by befriending an equally irresponsible coworker (chances are if your new company hired someone like you in the midst of this buyers market, the office is bursting at the seams with Mr. Magoos and Amelia Bedelias). Your equally forgetful friend will be less likely to judge you when you ask to copy their keys during your lunch break. If you’re compelled to make up an excuse for borrowing the keys, you could say you left your set at home, plan to work late today and want to be able to lock up when you leave.
If no one else has any keys or they’re the kind that can’t be copied without the master set, you can either earn a reputation of being the staffer that’s always late and always leaves early (bad idea), or you can confess (better idea). Tell your boss you’ve misplaced the keys, but can have a new set made in the time that it takes to get her an extra hot venti half-caf no whip nonfat soy pumpkin spice latte. You’ll be saving face and saving your boss unnecessary calories at the same time.
*My apologies for calling you irresponsible earlier; the act alone doesn’t define the person. Just don’t go applying to replace Saint Peter anytime soon.
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